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Eminem

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"Eminem may not be a metal rocker, but I do like him because he loves to hate on people, which is funny."

Eminem
2.jpg
Stick it up your ass and rotate

Album: Slim Shady LP (1999)
Song: My Name Is

Chorus: repeat 2X

Hi! My name is.. (what?) My name is.. (who?)
My name is.. {scratches} Slim Shady
Hi! My name is.. (huh?) My name is.. (what?)
My name is.. {scratches} Slim Shady

Ahem.. excuse me!
Can I have the attention of the class
for one second?

[Eminem]
Hi kids! Do you like violence? (Yeah yeah yeah!)
Wanna see me stick Nine Inch Nails through each one of my eyelids? (Uh-huh!)
Wanna copy me and do exactly like I did? (Yeah yeah!)
Try 'cid and get fucked up worse that my life is? (Huh?)
My brain's dead weight, I'm tryin to get my head straight
but I can't figure out which Spice Girl I want to impregnate (Ummmm..)
And Dr. Dre said, "Slim Shady you a basehead!"
Uh-uhhh! "So why's your face red? Man you wasted!"
Well since age twelve, I've felt like I'm someone else
Cause I hung my original self from the top bunk with a belt
Got pissed off and ripped Pamela Lee's tits off
And smacked her so hard I knocked her clothes backwards like Kris Kross
I smoke a fat pound of grass and fall on my ass
faster than a fat bitch who sat down too fast
C'mere slut! (Shady, wait a minute, that's my girl dog!)
I don't give a fuck, God sent me to piss the world off!

Chorus

[Eminem]
My English teacher wanted to flunk me in junior high
Thanks a lot, next semester I'll be thirty-five
I smacked him in his face with an eraser, chased him with a stapler
and stapled his nuts to a stack of papers (Owwwwwwww!)
Walked in the strip club, had my jacket zipped up
Flashed the bartender, then stuck my dick in the tip cup
Extraterrestrial, runnin over pedestrians
in a spaceship while they screamin at me: "LET'S JUST BE FRIENDS!"
Ninety-nine percent of my life I was lied to
I just found out my mom does more dope than I do (Damn!)
I told her I'd grow up to be a famous rapper
Make a record about doin drugs and name it after her (Oh thank you!)
You know you blew up when the women rush your stands
and try to touch your hands like some screamin Usher fans (Aaahhhhhh!)
This guy at White Castle asked for my autograph
(Dude, can I get your autograph?)
So I signed it: 'Dear Dave, thanks for the support, ASSHOLE!'

Chorus

[Eminem]
Stop the tape! This kid needs to be locked away! (Get him!)
Dr. Dre, don't just stand there, OPERATE!
I'm not ready to leave, it's too scary to die (Fuck that!)
I'll have to be carried inside the cemetery and buried alive
(Huh yup!) Am I comin or goin? I can barely decide
I just drank a fifth of vodka -- dare me to drive? (Go ahead)
All my life I was very deprived
I ain't had a woman in years, and my palms are too hairy to hide
(Whoops!) Clothes ripped like the Incredible Hulk (hachhh-too)
I spit when I talk, I'll fuck anything that walks (C'mere)
When I was little I used to get so hungry I would throw fits
HOW YOU GONNA BREAST FEED ME MOM? (WAH!)
YOU AIN'T GOT NO TITS! (WAHHH!)
I lay awake and strap myself in the bed
Put a bulleproof vest on and shoot myself in the head (BANG!)
I'm steamin mad (Arrrggghhh!)
And by the way when you see my dad? (Yeah?)
Tell him that I slit his throat, in this dream I had

Chorus

Album: Marshall Mathers LP (2000)
Song: Kill You

[Eminem]
When I just a little baby boy,
my momma used to tell me these crazy things
She used to tell me my daddy was an evil man,
she used to tell me he hated me
But then I got a little bit older
and I realized, she was the crazy one
But there was nothin I could do or say to try to change it
cause that's just the way she was

They said I can't rap about bein broke no more
They ain't say I can't rap about coke no more
(AHHH!) Slut, you think I won't choke no whore
til the vocal cords don't work in her throat no more?!
(AHHH!) These motherfuckers are thinkin I'm playin
Thinkin I'm sayin the shit cause I'm thinkin it just to be sayin it
(AHHH!) Put your hands down bitch, I ain't gon' shoot you
I'ma pull +YOU+ to this bullet, and put it through you
(AHHH!) Shut up slut, you're causin too much chaos
Just bend over and take it like a slut, okay Ma?
"Oh, now he's raping his own mother, abusing a whore,
snorting coke, and we gave him the Rolling Stone cover?"
You god damn right BITCH, and now it's too late
I'm triple platinum and tragedies happen in two states
I invented violence, you vile venomous volatile bitches
vain Vicadin, vrinnn Vrinnn, VRINNN! {*chainsaw revs up*}
Texas Chainsaw, left his brains all
danglin from his neck, while his head barely hangs on
Blood, guts, guns, cuts
Knives, lives, wives, nuns, sluts

Chorus: Eminem

Bitch I'ma kill you! You don't wanna fuck with me
Girls neither - you ain't nuttin but a slut to me
Bitch I'ma kill you! You ain't got the balls to beef
We ain't gon' never stop beefin I don't squash the beef
You better kill me! I'ma be another rapper dead
for poppin off at the mouth with shit I shouldn'ta said
But when they kill me - I'm bringin the world with me
Bitches too! You ain't nuttin but a girl to me
.. I said you don't, wanna fuck with Shady (cause why?)
Cause Shady, will fuckin kill you (ah-haha)
I said you don't, wanna fuck with Shady (why?)
Cause Shady, will fuckin kill you..

[Eminem]
Bitch I'ma kill you! Like a murder weapon, I'ma conceal you
in a closet with mildew, sheets, pillows and film you
Buck with me, I been through hell, shut the hell up!
I'm tryin to develop these pictures of the Devil to sell 'em
I ain't "acid rap," but I rap on acid
Got a new blow-up doll and just had a strap-on added
WHOOPS! Is that a subliminal hint? NO!
Just criminal intent to sodomize women again
Eminem offend? NO! Eminem insult
And if you ever give in to him, you give him an impulse
to do it again, THEN, if he does it again
you'll probably end up jumpin out of somethin up on the 10th
(Ahhhhhhhh!) Bitch I'ma kill you, I ain't done this ain't the chorus
I ain't even drug you in the woods yet to paint the forest
A bloodstain is orange after you wash it three or four times
in a tub but that's normal ain't it Norman?
Serial killer hidin murder material
in a cereal box on top of your stereo
Here we go again, we're out of our medicine
out of our minds, and we want in yours, let us in

Chorus (first line starts "Or I'ma kill you!")

[Eminem]
Eh-heh, know why I say these things?
Cause lady's screams keep creepin in Shady's dreams
And the way things seem, I shouldn't have to pay these shrinks
this eighty G's a week to say the same things TWEECE!
TWICE? Whatever, I hate these things
Fuck shots! I hope the weed'll outweigh these drinks
Motherfuckers want me to come on their radio shows
just to argue with 'em cause their ratings stink?
FUCK THAT! I'll choke radio announcer to bouncer
from fat bitch to off seventy-thousand pounds of her
from principal to the student body and counselor
from in-school to before school to out of school
I don't even believe in breathin I'm leavin air in your lungs
just to hear you keep screamin for me to seep it
OKAY, I'M READY TO GO PLAY
I GOT THE MACHETE FROM O.J.
I'M READY TO MAKE EVERYONE'S THROATS ACHE
You faggots keep eggin me on
til I have you at knifepoint, then you beg me to stop?
SHUT UP! Give me your hands and feet
I said SHUT UP when I'm talkin to you
YOU HEAR ME? ANSWER ME!

Chorus (first line starts "Or I'ma kill you!"
ninth line starts "Bitch I'ma kill you!")

[Eminem]
Hahaha, I'm just playin ladies
You know I love you

Album: Marshall Mathers LP (2000)
Song: Drug Ballad

[Girl] Yeaaah, hahahaha...whooooo, shit!
[Em](aight)
[Eminem] Guess what? I ain't coming in yet...
I'll come in a minute
[Eminem] Ayo...This is my love song...it goes like this

[Eminem]
Back when Mark Walhberg was Marky Mark
This is how we used to make the party start
We used to mix Hen' with Bacardi Dark
And when it, kicks in you can hardly talk
And by the, sixth gin you're gonna probably crawl
And you'll be, sick then and you'll probably barf
And my pre-diction is you're gonna probably fall
Either somewhere in the lobby or the hallway wall
And everything's spinning
You're beginin' to think women
are swimming in pink linen again in the sink
Then in a couple of minutes that bottle of Guiness is finished
You are now allowed to officially slap bitches
You have the right to remain violent and start wilin'
Start a fight with the same guy that was smart eyin' you
Get in your car, start it, and start drivin'
Over the island and cause a 42 car pile-up
[Em's spaceman voice]Earth calling, pilot to co-pilot
Look at the life on this planet, sir, no sign of it
All I can see is a bunch of smoke flyin'
And I'm so high that I might die if I go by it
Let me out of this place
I'm outta place
I'm in outer space
I've just vanished without a trace
I'm going to a pretty place now where the flowers grow
I'll be back in an hour or so

Chorus

[Eminem]
'Cause every time I go to try to leave
Something keeps pullin' on my sleeve
I don't wanna, but I gotta stay
These drugs really got ahold of me

'Cause every time I try to tell them "no"
They won't let me ever let them go
I'm a sucka all I gotta say
These drugs really got ahold of me

[Eminem]
In third grade, all I used to do
Was sniff glue through a tube and play rubix cube
17 years later I'm as Rude as Jude
Scheming on the first chick with the hugest boobs
I've got no game
And every face looks the same
They've got no name
So I don't need game to play
I just say whatever I want to whoever I want
Whenever I want, wherever I want, however I want
However, I do show some respect to few
As ecstacy got me standing next to you
Getting sentimental as fuck spillin' guts to you
We just met
But I think I'm in love with you
But you're on it too
So you tell me you love me too
Wake up in the morning like "yo, what the fuck we do?"
I gotta go bitch
You know I have stuff to do
'Cause if I get caught cheatin' then I'm stuck with you
But in the long run
These drugs are probably going to catch up sooner or later
But fuck it, I'm on one
So let's enjoy
Let the X destroy your spinal cord
So it's not a straight line no more
'Til we walk around looking like some wind-up dolls
Shit's sticking out of our backs like a dinosaur
Shit, six hits won't even get me high no more
So bye for now
I'm going to try to find some more

Chorus

[Eminem]
That's the sound of a bottle when it's hollow
When you swallow it all wollow and drown in your sorrow
And tomorrow you're probably going to want to do it again
What's a little spinal fluid between you and a friend? Screw it
And what's a little bit of alcohol poisoning?
And what's a little fight?
Tomorrow you'll be boys again
It's your life
Live it however you wanna
Marijuana is everywhere
Where was you brought up?
It don't matter as long as you get where you're going
'Cause none of the shit is going to mean shit where we're going
They tell you to stop, but you just sit there ignoring
Even though you wake up feeling like shit every morning
But you're young
You've got a lot of drugs to do
Girls to screw
Parties to crash
Sucks to be you
If I could take it all back now, I wouldn't
I would have did more shit that people said that I shouldn't
But I'm all grown up now and upgraded and graduated
Did better drugs and updated
But I've still got a lot of growing up to do
I've still got a whole lot of throwing up to spew
But when it's all said and done I'll be 40
Before I know it with a 40 on the porch telling stories
With a bottle of Jack
Two grandkids in my lap
Babysiting for Haley while Haley's out getting smashed

Chorus 2x (Same as previous, but 2nd time
the last line is repeated like this)

Drugs really got ahold of me
They really got ahold of me
'Cause drugs really got ahold of me
They really got ahold of me

Album: Marshall Mathers LP (2000)
Song: Amityville

(kill kill kill)
Dahh-dum, dahh-dum.. dum
Dahh-dum, dahh-dum, duh-da-da-da-da
(kill kill kill)
Dahh-dum, dahh-dum.. dum
Dahh-dum, dahh-dum, dumm..
(kill kill kill)

Chorus: Eminem

Mentally illll from Amityvilllle (ILLLL)
Accidentally killll your family stillll
Thinkin he won't? God-damnit he willll (HE'SSSS)
Mentally illll from Amityvilllle
** {HE'SSSS} - on repeats only **

[Eminem]
I get lifted and spin til I'm half-twisted
Feet planted and stand with a grin full of chapped lipstick {*SMACK*}
Pen full of ink, think sinful and rap sick shit
Shrink pencil me in for my last visit
Drink gin til my chin's full of splashed whiskers {*whoosh*}
Hash whiskey and ash til I slap bitches {*smack*}
Ask Bizzy, he's been here the past six years
Mash with me you'll get in imagine this

Chorus 2X

[Bizarre]
I fucked my cousin in his asshole, slit my mother's throat
{*AHHHHHHHH!*} Guess who Slim Shady just signed to Interscope?
My little sister's birthday, she'll remember me
For a gift I had ten of my boys take her virginity
{*Mmm mm mmm!*} And bitches know me as a horny ass freak
Their mother wasn't raped, I ate her pussy while she was 'sleep
Pissy-drunk, throwin up in the urinal (YOU FUCKIN HOMO!)
That's what I said at my dad's funeral

Chorus 2X

[Eminem]
That's why the city is filled with a bunch of fuckin idiots still (still)
That's why the first motherfucker poppin some shit he gets killed (killed)
That's why we don't call it Detroit, we call it Amityville ('Ville)
You can get capped after just havin a cavity filled (filled)
Ahahahaha, that's why we're crowned the murder capital still (still)
This ain't Detroit, this is motherfuckin Hamburger Hill! (Hill!)
We don't do drivebys, we park in front of houses and shoot
and when the police come we fuckin shoot it out with them too!
That's the mentality here (here) that's the reality here (here)
Did I just hear somebody say they wanna challenge me here?? (huh?)
While I'm holdin a pistol with this many calibres here?? (here??)
Got some registration and just made this shit valid this year? (year?)
Cause once I snap I can't be held accountable for my acts
and that's when accidents happen,
when a thousand bullets come at your house
and collapse the foundation around and they found you
and your family in it (AHHHHH!)
GOT DAMNIT HE MEANT IT WHEN HE TELLS YOU

Chorus 2X

Dum, tahh-dum.. ta-dah-da
Dum, tahh-dum.. ta-dah-da
Dum, tahh-dum.. ta-dah-da
Dum, tahh-dum.. ta-dah-da
Dum, tahh-dum.. ta-dah-da
Dum, tahh-dum.. ta-dah-da
Dum, tahh-dum.. ta-dah-da
Dum, tahh-dum.. ta-dah-da
Dum..

Album: Marshall Mathers LP (2000)
Song: Kim

[Eminem]
Aww look at daddy's baby girl
That's daddy baby
Little sleepy head
Yesterday I changed your diaper
Wiped you and powdered you.
How did you get so big?
Can't believe it now your two
Baby you're so precious
Daddy's so proud of you
Sit down bitch
If you move again I'll beat the shit out of you

[Eminem](Eminem as Kim)
(Okay)
Don't make me wake this baby
She don't need to see what I'm about to do
Quit crying bitch, why do you always make me shout at you?
How could you?
Just leave me and love him out the blue
Oh, what's a matter Kim?
Am I too loud for you?
Too bad bitch, your gonna finally hear me out this time
At first, I'm like all right
You wanna throw me out? That's fine!
But not for him to take my place, are you out you're mind?
This couch, this TV, this whole house is mine!
How could you let him sleep in our bed?
Look at Kim
Look at your husband now!
(No!)
I said look at him!
He ain't so hot now is he?
Little punk!
(Why are you doing this?)
Shut the fuck up!
(You're drunk! You're never going to get away at this!)
You think I give a fuck!
Come on we're going for a ride bitch
(No!)
Sit up front
(Well I can't just leave Haley alone, what if she wakes up?)
We'll be right back
Well I will you'll be in the trunk

1 - So long, bitch you did me so wrong
I don't wanna go on
Living in this world without you

Repeat 1

You really fucked me Kim
You really did a number on me
Never knew me cheating on you would come back to haunt me
But we was kids then Kim, I was only 18
That was years ago
I thought we wiped the slate clean
That's fucked up!
(I love you!)
Oh God my brain is racing
(I love you!)
What are you doing?
Change the station I hate this song!
Does this look like a big joke?
(No!)
There's a four year old boy lyin' dead with a slit throat
In your living room, ha-ha
What you think I'm kiddin' you?
You loved him didn't you?
(No!)
Bullshit you bitch don't fucking lie to me
What the fuck's this guy's problem on the side of me?
Fuck you asshole, yeah bite me
Kim, KIM!
Why don't you like me?
You think I'm ugly don't you
(It's not that!)
No you think I'm ugly
(Baby)
Get the fuck away from me, don't touch me
I HATE YOU! I HATE YOU!
I SWEAR TO GOD I HATE YOU
OH MY GOD I LOVE YOU
How the fuck could you do this to me?
(Sorry!)
How the fuck could you do this to me?

Repeat 1 (2x)

Come on get out
(I can't I'm scared)
I said get out bitch!
(Let go of my hair, please don't do this baby)
(Please I love you, look we can just take Haley and leave)
Fuck you, you did this to us
You did it, it's your fault
Oh my God I'm crackin' up
Get a grip Marshall
Hey remember the time we went to Brian's party?
And you were like so drunk that you threw up all over Archie
That was funny wasn't it?
(Yes!)
That was funny wasn't it?
(Yes!)
See it all makes sense, doesn't it?
You and your husband have a fight
One of you tries to grab a knife
And during the struggle he accidentally gets his Adam's apple sliced
(No!)
And while this is goin' on
His son just woke up and he just walks in
She panics and he gets his throat cut
(Oh my God!)
So now they both dead and you slash your own throat
So now it's double homicide and suicide with no note
I should have known better when you started to act weird
We could've...HEY! Where you going? Get back here!
You can't run from me Kim
It's just us, nobody else!
You're only making this harder on yourself
Ha! Ha! Got'cha!
(Ahh!)
Ha! Go ahead yell!
Here I'll scream with you!
AH SOMEBODY HELP!
Don't you get it bitch, no one can hear you?
Now shut the fuck up and get what's comin to you
You were supposed to love me
{*Kim choking*}
NOW BLEED! BITCH BLEED!
BLEED! BITCH BLEED! BLEED!

Repeat 1 (2x)

Album: Marshall Mathers LP (2000)
Song: Criminal

[Eminem]
A lot of people ask me.. stupid fuckin questions
A lot of people think that.. what I say on records
or what I talk about on a record, that I actually do in real life
or that I believe in it
Or if I say that, I wanna kill somebody, that..
I'm actually gonna do it
or that I believe in it
Well, shit.. if you believe that
then I'll kill you
You know why?
Cuz I'm a

CRIMINAL
CRIMINAL
You god damn right
I'm a CRIMINAL
Yeah, I'm a CRIMINAL

[Eminem]
My words are like a dagger with a jagged edge
That'll stab you in the head
whether you're a fag or lez
Or the homosex, hermaph or a trans-a-vest
Pants or dress - hate fags? The answer's "yes"
Homophobic? Nah, you're just heterophobic
Starin at my jeans, watchin my genitals bulgin (Ooh!)
That's my motherfuckin balls, you'd better let go of em
They belong in my scrotum, you'll never get hold of em
Hey, it's me, Versace
Whoops, somebody shot me!
And I was just checkin the mail
Get it? Checkin the 'male'?
How many records you expectin to sell
after your second LP sends you directly to jail?
C'mon!-- Relax guy, I like gay men
Right, Ken? Give me an amen (AAA-men!)
Please Lord, this boy needs Jesus
Heal this child, help us destroy these demons
Oh, and please send me a brand new car
And a prostitute while my wife's sick in the hospital
Preacher preacher, fifth grade teacher
You can't reach me, my mom can't neither
You can't teach me a goddamn thing cause
I watch TV, and Comcast cable
and you ain't able to stop these thoughts
You can't stop me from toppin these charts
And you can't stop me from droppin each March
with a brand new cd for these fuckin retards
Duhhh, and to think, it's just little ol' me
Mr. "Don't Give A Fuck," still won't leave

Chorus: Eminem (repeat 2X)

I'm a CRIMINAL
Cuz every time I write a rhyme, these people think it's a crime
to tell em what's on my mind - I guess I'm a CRIMINAL
but I don't gotta say a word, I just flip em the bird
and keep goin, I don't take shit from no one

[Eminem]
My mother did drugs - tar, liquor, cigarettes, and speed
The baby came out - disfigured, ligaments indeed
It was a seed who would grow up just as crazy as she
Don't dare make fun of that baby cause that baby was me
I'm a CRIMINAL - an animal caged who turned crazed
But how the fuck you sposed to grow up when you weren't raised?
So as I got older and I got a lot taller
My dick shrunk smaller, but my balls got larger
I drink malt liquor to fuck you up quicker
than you'd wanna fuck me up for sayin the word ...
My morals went thhbbpp when the president got oral
Sex in his Oval Office on top of his desk
Off of his own employee
Now don't ignore me, you won't avoid me
You can't miss me, I'm white, blonde-haired
and my nose is pointy
I'm the bad guy who makes fun of people that die
in plane crashes and laughs
As long as it ain't happened to him
Slim Shady, I'm as crazy as Em
-inem and Kim combined - *kch* the maniac's in
Replacin the doctor cause Dre couldn't make it today
He's a little under the weather, so I'm takin his place
(Mm-mm-mmm!) Oh, that's Dre with an AK to his face
Don't make me kill him too and spray his brains all over the place
I told you Dre, you should've kept that thang put away
I guess that'll teach you not to let me play with it, eh?
I'm a CRIMINAL

[Interlude Skit]
Aight look (uh huh) just go up in that motherfucker
get the motherfuckin money and get the fuck up outta there
[Em] Aight
I'll be right here waitin on you
[Em] Aight
Yo Em
[Em] What?!
Don't kill nobody this time
[Em] Awwright... god damn, fuck...
(whistling) how you doin'?
[Teller] HI, how can I help you?
[Eminem] Yeah I need to make a withdrawl
[Teller] Okay
[Eminem] Put the fuckin money in the bag bitch
and I won't kill you!
[Teller] What? Oh my god, don't kill me
[Eminem] I'm not gonna kill you bitch, quit lookin around...
[Teller] Don't kill me, please don't kill me...
[Eminem] I said I'm not gonna fuckin kill you
Hurry the fuck up! {*BOOM*} Thank you!

[Eminem]
Windows tinted on my ride when I drive in it
So when I rob a bank, run out and just dive in it
So I'll be disguised in it
And if anybody identifies the guy in it
I'll hide for five minutes
Come back, shoot the eyewitness
Fire at the private eye hired to pry in my business
Die, bitches, bastards, brats, pets
This puppy's lucky I didn't blast his ass yet
If I ever gave a fuck, I'd shave my nuts
tuck my dick inbetween my legs and cluck
You motherfuckin chickens ain't brave enough
to say the stuff I say, so this tape is shut
Shit, half the shit I say, I just make it up
To make you mad so kiss my white naked ass
And if it's not a rapper that I make it as
I'ma be a fuckin rapist in a Jason mask

(Chorus 2X)

Album: The Eminem Show (2002)
Song: Without Me

Intro (Obie Trice)
"Obie Trice/Real Name No Gimmicks..."

Refrain 1
2 trailer park girls go round the outside/ round the outside, round the outside (Repeat Refrain 1)

Refrain 2
Guess whos back, back again/ Shadys back, tell a friend/ Guess who's back, guess who's back, guess who's back/ Guess who's back...

Verse 1
I've created a monster, cuz nobody wants to
see Marshall no more they want Shady I'm chopped liver
well if you want Shady, this is what I'll give ya
a little bit of weed mixed with some hard liquor
some vodka that'll jumpstart my heart quicker then a
shock when I get shocked at the hospital by the Dr. when I'm not cooperating
when I'm rocking the table while he's operating
you waited this long now stop debating cuz I'm back, I'm on the rag and ovulating
I know that you got a job Ms. Cheney but your husbands heart problem's complicating
So the FCC wont let me be or let me be me so let me see
they tried to shut me down on MTV but it feels so empty without me
So come on and dip, bum on your lips fuck that, cum on your lips and some on your tits and get ready cuz this shit's about to get heavy
I just settled all my lawsuits Fuck YOU DEBBIE!

Chorus (X2)
Now this looks like a job for me so everybody just follow me
cuz we need a little controversy, cuz it feels so empty without me

Verse 2
Little hellions kids feeling rebellious
embarrassed, their parents still listen to Elvis
they start feeling the prisoners helpless, 'til someone comes along on a mission and yells "bitch"
A visionary, vision is scary, could start a revolution, pollutin the air waves a rebel
so let me just revel an ask, the fact that I got everyone kissing my ass
and it's a disaster such a catastrophe for you to see so damn much of my ass you ask for me?
Well I'm back (batman sound) fix your bent antennae tune it in and then I'm gonna
enter in and up under your skin like a splinter
The center of attention back for the winter
I'm interesting, the best thing since wrestling
Infesting in your kids ears and nesting
Testing "Attention Please" feel the tension soon as someone mentions me
here's my 10 cents my 2 cents is free
A nuisance, who sent, you sent for me?

Chorus (X2)

Verse 3
A tisk-it a task-it, I'll go tit for tat with anybody who's talking this shit that shit. Chris Kirkpatrick you can get your ass kicked
worse than them little Limp Bizkit bastards, and Moby
you can get stomped by Obie, you 36 year old bald headed fag blow me
You don't know me, you're too old let go its over, nobody listens to techno
Now lets go, give me the signal I'll be there with a whole list full of new insults
I've been dope, suspenseful with a pencil ever since Prince turned himself into a symbol
But sometimes the shit just seems, everybody only wants to discuss me
So this must mean I'm disgusting, but its just me I'm just obscene
Though I'm not the first king of controversy
I am the worst thing since Elvis Presley, to do Black Music so selfishly
and use it to get myself wealthy (Hey)
there's a concept that works
20 million other white rappers emerge
but no matter how many fish in the sea it'd be so empty without me

Chorus (X2)

(Hum dei dei la la Hum dei dei la la... la la la) X2 "Kids"

Album: The Eminem Show (2002)
Song: My Dad's Gone Crazy

Intro
Hello boys and girls, today we are gunna talk about father and daughter relationships.
Do you have a daddy? I'll bet you do, whos your daddy.

Hailie: Daddy what are you doing?

Eminem and Hailie: Okay then! Everybody listen up!

Eminem: I'm goin' to hell! Who's comin' with me???!?

Hailie: Somebody please help him! I think my dad's gone crazy...

Verse 1
There's no mountain I can't climb, there's no tower too high, no plane that I can't learn how to fly
what do I gotta do to get through to you, to show you there ain't nothin' I can't take this chainsaw to?
Fuckin' brains, brawn and brass balls, I cut'em off, and got'em pickled and bronzed in a glass jar inside of a hall
with my framed autographed sunglasses with Elton John's name on my drag wall, I'm out the closet, I've been lyin' my ass off
All this time me and Dre been fuckin' with hats off (Suck it, Marshall). So tell Laura and her husband to back off
before I push this muthafuckin' button and blast off and launch one at these Russians and that's all
blow every fuckin' thing except Afghanistan on the map off. When will it stop? When will I knock the crap off?
Hailie, tell 'em baby,( My Dad's Lost It!!)

Chorus
There's really nothin' else to say, I... I can't explain it
I think my dad's gone crazy
A little help from Hailie Jade, won't you tell 'em baby
I think my dad's gone crazy
There's nothin' you could do or say that could ever change me
I think my dad's gone crazy
There's no one on earth that can save me, not even Hailie
I think my dad's gone crazy

Verse 2
It's like my mother always told me, rana rana rana rana rana rana rana rana rana rana and codeine and
goddammit you little muthafucker if you ain't got nuthin' nice to say then don't say nuthin'
..uh, fuck that shit bitch eat a muthafuckin' dick, chew on a prick and lick
a million muthafuckin' cocks per second, I'd rather put out a muthafuckin' gospel record
I'd rather be a pussy whipped bitch, eat pussy, and have pussy lips glued to my face with a clit ring in my nose then quit bringin' my flows
quit givin' me my ammo. Can't you see why I'm so mean? If y'all leave me alone this wouldn't be my M.O.
I wouldn't have to go, eenee, meenee, meini, mo, catch a homo by his toe, man I don't know no more/am I the only fuckin' one who's normal any more?
Dad...

Chorus

Verse 3
My songs can make you cry, take you by surprise at the same time, can make you dry your eyes with the same rhyme
see what you're seein' is a genius at work, which to me isn't work, so it's easy to misinterpret it at first
cus when I speak, it's tongue-in-cheek, I'd yank my fuckin' teeth before I'd ever bite my tongue
I'd slice my gums, get struck by fuckin' lightning twice at once and die and come back as Vanilla Ice's son
and walk around the rest of my life spit on, and kicked and hit with shit everytime I sung
like R. Kelly as soon as "Bump and Grind" comes on. More pain inside of my brain than the eyes of a little girl
inside of a plane aimed at the World Trade, standin' on Ronnie's grave, screamin' at the sky, till clouds gather, it's Clyde Mathers and Bonnie Jade
and that's pretty much the gist of it, the parents are pissed but the kids love it. 9 millimeter heater stashed in 2 seaters with meat cleavers
I don't blame you, I wouldn't let Hailie listen to me neither...

Chorus

Hailie:
Crazy
Ha Ha Ha
You're Funny Daddy!