You might be a goth if ...

• You pay 6 bucks for cigarettes that match your outfit
• You like to play dead in public
• You wake up still drunk at 3 in the afternoon with anonymous black lipstick on your face
• The shade of powder you wear is called "Sheet Of Paper"
• The Count was your favorite Sesame Street character as a child
• You wear long, velvet coats in the middle of summer
• You go to Denny's at 5 in the morning and think, "These are my people"
• You think dead flowers are prettier than live ones (which they are!)
• You refer to your age in mortal years
• You buy $15 fishnets and rip them on purpose
• Your combat boots cost more than it takes to feed a third world child for two years
• You've willingly undergone cosmetic dental surgery
• You own all the metal c.d.'s that ever came out
• You own even 1 Projekt c.d.
• You can't decide whether Morticia Addams or Lily Munster is prettier, then decide Wednesday blows them both away
• You were disappointed to find out that "American Gothic" is a portrait of two farmers
• You think of the hearse as a "family car"
• You own a glow-in-the-dark rosary that alternates between your neck and the rearview mirror in your car
• You fashion your eyeliner after a culture that's been dead over 2000 years
• You have seen "Nightmare before Christmas" more than five times
• Your purse is large, square or metallic (metal)
• You argue on whether Poppy Z. Brite or Anne Rice has the more realistic view on vampires
• You and your friends take lengthy drives to visit non-local graveyards
• You spell Vampire either Vampyre, Vamphyre or ya just plan ol' call 'em vamps
• Your boyfriend complains that his ribs just don't stick out the way they used to
• Your girlfriend/boyfriend (or whatever rocks your boat) complains that you look better in her black, velvet skirt than she does
• You refer to others as "The Normals" or "The Preppys"  
• You are happy when no one has ever heard of your favorite band
• Christians accost you with pamphlets on the street frequently
• You accost Christians with pamphlets on the street
• You and your boyfriend/girlfriend (or whatever rocks your boat) fight over who gets to wear the fangs
• This list made you depressed